As a life-long Butch dyke (I realized my attraction to girls in kindergarten in 1968), I have spent the last 56 years reclaiming the words Dyke and Queer for myself. Those are the terms that most reflect who I am at my core and so, resonate strongly for me. And I Do say them with my whole damn chest. Even as the younger generations have created a different definition of the word, Queer.
It took me until I was 35 to fully accept my very female body. I was a big tomboy who played multiple sports throughout my school days (and beyond) and because those activities where incredibly important to my sanity, I molded my body to serve me well. Until I hit my growth spurt finally at 16, and suddenly had a woman's body! It was a blow to my sense of self. I thought All Butch dykes were slimly built as The Rule and that I no longer fit. That girly girls (I didn't yet know the word Femme) would no longer flirt with me or allow me to walk them home or, the absolute worst, never allow me to kiss them or hold their soft hands again!! Anathema!!
It wasn't until 1998 and a cross-country move to our Queer Mecca, San Francisco, that I saw and met other Butches shaped like me. 😍 I learned a ton from watching and interacting with them. Not the least was love for my curves and, as a Huge added bonus, how to move through the world without Fear. Those lessons still come along with me today as I live and engage in being an Out 'n Proud Butch who is lucky enough to engage with younger dykes on a regular basis. Thank you to those women who walked the lines between female and male with aplomb and fierce love for their communities!!
And thanks to you for sharing yourself here and engaging with your audience!
This reads like a gentle, strong, lesbian manifesto. Kudos, CB. Inspiring and brave, even in 2024, and even though I've been happily out since 1975. :-)
Beautiful! 👏🏼 I need this. I often get lesbians bristling for saying this but I like being a lesbian because that means I don’t have to deal with men. I would hate to be attracted to men and have that struggle of all the patriarchal crap come with that attraction or love.
I like the fact that me and my wife share in all the experiences that being a woman means. She understands me and I understand her.
I get it — there’s an added perk in being with another lesbian and knowing that both of you don’t give a damn about males, isn’t there? Thank you for sharing, Carol.
The post was excellent. Many thanks for celebrating the richness and joy of being lesbian and shouting it out that we are here and we are not queer. In response your questions. I've spent most of my life coming out as a lesbian and didn't get much pushback. My goal as a lesbian activist was to get lesbians, aka gay women, to call themselves lesbians! I love lesbians and can't think of a better way to have lived this life.
Beautiful post, I appreciate the bravery of being so beautifully vulnerable and honest. As always - very inspiring piece. And again, louder for the people in the back - we are here and we’re not queer! ❤️
As a life-long Butch dyke (I realized my attraction to girls in kindergarten in 1968), I have spent the last 56 years reclaiming the words Dyke and Queer for myself. Those are the terms that most reflect who I am at my core and so, resonate strongly for me. And I Do say them with my whole damn chest. Even as the younger generations have created a different definition of the word, Queer.
It took me until I was 35 to fully accept my very female body. I was a big tomboy who played multiple sports throughout my school days (and beyond) and because those activities where incredibly important to my sanity, I molded my body to serve me well. Until I hit my growth spurt finally at 16, and suddenly had a woman's body! It was a blow to my sense of self. I thought All Butch dykes were slimly built as The Rule and that I no longer fit. That girly girls (I didn't yet know the word Femme) would no longer flirt with me or allow me to walk them home or, the absolute worst, never allow me to kiss them or hold their soft hands again!! Anathema!!
It wasn't until 1998 and a cross-country move to our Queer Mecca, San Francisco, that I saw and met other Butches shaped like me. 😍 I learned a ton from watching and interacting with them. Not the least was love for my curves and, as a Huge added bonus, how to move through the world without Fear. Those lessons still come along with me today as I live and engage in being an Out 'n Proud Butch who is lucky enough to engage with younger dykes on a regular basis. Thank you to those women who walked the lines between female and male with aplomb and fierce love for their communities!!
And thanks to you for sharing yourself here and engaging with your audience!
This has given me such courage to continue stepping into my authenticity 💛
And how many nascent young lesbians are being transed out the wonderful life you are living?
This reads like a gentle, strong, lesbian manifesto. Kudos, CB. Inspiring and brave, even in 2024, and even though I've been happily out since 1975. :-)
Thank you very much, Mariah. I like the idea of calling it a “lesbian manifesto”! Even though I am not trying to recruit anybody. ;-)
Beautiful! 👏🏼 I need this. I often get lesbians bristling for saying this but I like being a lesbian because that means I don’t have to deal with men. I would hate to be attracted to men and have that struggle of all the patriarchal crap come with that attraction or love.
I like the fact that me and my wife share in all the experiences that being a woman means. She understands me and I understand her.
We make each other laugh every day.
I get it — there’s an added perk in being with another lesbian and knowing that both of you don’t give a damn about males, isn’t there? Thank you for sharing, Carol.
Thank you, I didn't realize how much I needed this. "Say it with you whole damned chest. " YES!
Thank 𝘺𝘰𝘶!
As always, a lovely post. Thank you for sharing your heart, friend. 🌸✨💕
As always, thank you for your support. :-)
I’m delighted to!
Thank you, it’s beautiful post and I really needed to read that.
Thank 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
The post was excellent. Many thanks for celebrating the richness and joy of being lesbian and shouting it out that we are here and we are not queer. In response your questions. I've spent most of my life coming out as a lesbian and didn't get much pushback. My goal as a lesbian activist was to get lesbians, aka gay women, to call themselves lesbians! I love lesbians and can't think of a better way to have lived this life.
Thank you so much for sharing, Kay. Well said.
Beautiful post, I appreciate the bravery of being so beautifully vulnerable and honest. As always - very inspiring piece. And again, louder for the people in the back - we are here and we’re not queer! ❤️
Thank you ❤️